Less irritation, more delight

Everything I tried to do went so terribly wrong today.

Breakfast included complaining about scrambled eggs, and having to load the dishwasher "all the time" (insert dramatic 5 year old sigh here).
Our morning devotions were accompanied by Colton folding and stepping all over the bible verse cards, fussing that I wasn't holding him, and mad about wanting more breakfast.
Our phonics game resulted in Colton belly-down, spreading them all over the carpet and getting them lost in the million places things get lost in this house.
Our music lesson lead to more 5 year old attitude than I even knew was possible. I gave up and took a shower leaving Niah crying in the family room because I left before I would say anything I would regret.
Some days, I just want to run away. Even running away to the shower didn't work. I had a little blondie undressed and asking to come in the shower just seconds after I got my hair wet.
Colton only takes one nap now, and each day somehow just got at least 2 hours longer.
Longer, yet so much shorter.
Olivia is not really napping at all anymore either, and I have to really lay down the law to even keep her upstairs for a quiet time. I mean really lay down the law. She has more excuses than I think I could ever think up.
And somehow, my son finds it incredibly horrific to see my arms naked without him in them. Every time he sees me, he is hollering at me to pick him up. My irritation is so abundant, I can't stand it.


Our sin is so apparent when we have little mirrors to look at all day. Could it be that I can hardly stand my own sin and then when I have to deal with 3 other little sinners, I just want to scream? How does God even stand to love me when I struggle to love my own children at times? I think being a mother has only started to open the door to me understanding the vastness of God's love for me. And it is the hugest, most amazingly difficult thing I have ever done...
but ashes compared to God sending his only son to die on a cross to save this sinner.

2 Corinthians 12:9
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Ok, God. Less irritation, more delight. Please help me not to rely on my own strength!
Amen